How did a computer scientist such as Geoffrey Hinton manage to win a Nobel Prize in physics when computer science already has its own Nobel Prize equivalent in the Turing Awards?

Why wait any longer for the one you love?

[Younger voice] "But wait a minute, Ising-Lenz goes back to the 1920's. And didn't Hinton plagiarise rather a lot? He also didn't invent modern backprop, did he, that's Linnainmaa? And Amari preceded Hopfield, too. That's not a good look."

Whatever.

Jenny from Perth writes – my partner is the life of the party, women and men adore him. But at home, he gets angry at us for the silliest reasons and never nice words me or our kids, always putting us down. Should I stay or leave him?

My 11 million SEK, Dr Jo.

^* Fibiger got the 1926 Medicine prize for the discovery of Spiroptera carcinoma (Don’t ask).

In December 1973, when Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, comedian Tom Lehrer dropped his mic and stamped on it—satire had just died.

Why does a straight man like anal penetration?

They then move on to selectively provide their own version of history. But hey, it’s OK. They wanted controversy, didn’t they? Whatever.

(Mumbles of assent)

"Where can we shoehorn it in? Chemistry is easy 'cos AlphaFold; but what about physics? A bit more challenging, right?"

What are some lesser-known facts about Bollywood and the Indian film industry? Are there any insider secrets that only those in the industry would know? How reliable are these claims?

^† They rationalise their decision thusly:

In awarding prizes, the Nobel Committees often seem only marginally more competent than MTG is at explaining meteorology. And if they can give a literature prize for lyrics like:

A fly on the wall at the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences

Which is the worst Bollywood movie you have ever seen and why?

Why wait any longer for the world to begin?

Whatever.

[The basic structure of artificial neural networks] has close similarities with spin models in statistical physics applied to magnetism or alloy theory. This year’s Nobel Prize in Physics recognizes research exploiting this connection to make breakthrough methodological advances in the field of ANN.

Which city should one visit between Nice and Cannes? Why?

"Good point, I'm sure we can swing it. And let's tack on Hopfield while we're about it."

"Hey guys, AI is pretty big so let's centre our prizes on it this year. We can get some attention, and it's all about advertising, at the end of the day, isn't it?"

You can have your cake and eat it too

Have you been with a stranger yet?

When he's standing, in front of you

"Didn't he do something with Boltzmann in it? That sounds physics-y. RBMs and stuff, eh?"

Fortunately, we are privy to the discussion that led up to this:

What is the best case of “You just picked a fight with the wrong person” that you've witnessed?

(Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize for Literature, 2016)

[Older voice] "Mmm. What about Hinton, he's widely regarded? Nobody got fired for buying IBM"

There you go.^†

Do people really never face any hidden costs or surprises with surgeries in countries with single-payer healthcare like the NHS?

… then anything is possible. There’s no rule that a Nobel Prize has to make sense.^*

"Naah, Linnainmaa is a Finn. Can't give it to a bloody Finnish mathematician. Let's go for drinks. Brännvin anyone?"

"Good idea, but how can we wangle something that says 'Physics'?"

Kuorans can you write a sad story about kpop?